Phantom of My Dreams

Phantom of My Dreams

I close my eyes and see him.

The Phantom of my dreams.

Ghastly, Ghostly childhood memories,

That make me want to scream.

I lie in bed and search,

For the open door.

Unable to bare the pain of my past,

Unable to take it anymore.

I need to escape,

I need to leave this world called sleep.

It's only here,

That the Phantom I will meet.

I can feel his presence now,

His hands, his body, violating me.

I scream out, cry, and run.

Stumbling and falling as I try to flee.

He has me once more.

I look him in the face.

It's the same man,

Who's normally kinda and loving

A perfect cover for this disgrace.

"No, I don't want to"

in my child's voice I say.

He just grins and continues,

Then I give up,

My tiny body going limp.

Just letting him have his way.

As he continues

I give in

And in a strange way

I allow myself to feel pleasure from the pain.

I don't want to enjoy it.

But my body betrays.

When it is over and he's gone away

I sit down and cry,

I am so ashamed.

Then ringing through the air,

A shrilling scream calls upon the door to open.

My rescue comes to late.

I stand and hold my broken self,

Staggering slowly toward the gate.

I reach up and silence the alarm.

Then lay upon my bed,

Trembling in the dark.

Shivering from the residual thoughts.

I focus my mind, trying to push them away,

But the only thing I feel and hear,

Is the pounding of my heart.

I take a few, slow deep breaths.

Then I move.

Sitting, then standing on shaky legs,

And then walk toward the door.

I stop in the thresh hold,

And glimpse back toward my bed.

And through my mind

One last fleeting echo runs.

A silent ominous promise,

That tonight…

The phantom, will be back for more.

 
   
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